Filing down and buffing the sharp teeth of my behavior saw blade


Agitation, frustration, desperation, annihilation, and tirades came from the jagged sharp teeth of my moving behavior saw blade.

I became too dangerous to both others and myself, so safety measures had to be taken. I had to continue to spin. Turning me off was not an option for relief.

Medication and therapeutic treatments served to slowly grind down and smooth out the sharpness, but it was a hard and long task. I went through multiple files and stones along the way.

Years later the sharp cutting teeth were nearly worn down, but there was still a wavy appearance in the behavior circle. Sometimes it curved up, and sometimes it curved down, wobbling along the surface. I needed the plate to be smoothed perfectly round. But was it possible? Yes, with the right tools, time and patience.

The plate is now without bulges and bumps, but it still needs sanding to deburr. The burrs still make the ride in life slightly tense and uneasy, kind of like a little scratchy noise against the surface as it rolls, with occasional sparks.

If and when the burrs are all smoothed, the very last step is the buff. When that is achieved, it will roll gracefully and painlessly on most surfaces.

Will new teeth on the saw blade eventually pop up? I don’t know, but in the meantime I’ll try to savor the calm roll.

7 thoughts on “Filing down and buffing the sharp teeth of my behavior saw blade

  1. Hussein Allam May 30, 2017 / 8:58 pm

    Wow, amazing words, honestly don’t know what to write for you, but it is absolute excellent post! Love the way you use your words in writing, damn! The best post ever that I have read for the whole day, well done, updownflight🙂👍

    Liked by 1 person

    • updownflight May 30, 2017 / 9:19 pm

      Thanks so much, Hussein Allam! That’s such a nice compliment. It’s funny, this morning I had no clue how to use the Daily Post word “buff”, but then an idea came to me. Funny, I’m not a carpenter. I usually don’t use power saws, or the like. But for a moment I imagined my old self as one, and just took it from there.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hussein Allam May 30, 2017 / 9:23 pm

        Hhhh, well done, sharpen the saw for me, I am coming to fix everything quickly🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Nel May 30, 2017 / 10:44 pm

    Great analogy here! Love it! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  3. gregoryjosephs May 31, 2017 / 4:36 am

    I love this analogy. And as usual, I also love the positivity that shines through the struggle in your posts. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • updownflight May 31, 2017 / 12:44 pm

      Thanks, gregoryjosephs. I’m glad my positivity shined through. I have no idea how I came up with this particular analogy. I’m not a carpenter. I had to laugh at myself.

      Liked by 1 person

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