Consider reading My very first love (Part 1) before proceeding.
NOTE: This post contains some mild sexual content. If you are under 18 years old or prefer not to read such content, please skip this post. I only included it because it’s relevant to this part of the story. Also, I have changed the name of my Polish American female friend to Krista.
After my first incredible kiss with Mihai, and our professions of love, we became extra giddy around each other. It didn’t take long before we could be found making out with extreme gusto on the Asian culture house sofa or hidden away in one of our dorm rooms. As I mentioned earlier, my past “relationships”, if you want to call them that, were one-sided lust, on the side of the guy and never went too far. This time with Mihai it was feverish mutual hunger.
I have to be honest and say that there was a whirlwind going on in my head at this time. Mihai seemed like a dream riding on that wind. I only saw sparkles and golden auras. He was an incredibly intelligent and poetic man, with a lot of knowledge I feel I didn’t have. That didn’t intimidate me, but it drew me to him. His stories, his slow but graceful body language, even his voice added up to something highly alluring. At this stage, that was what I saw most. I was elated and grandiose at this time from my mania. Other details were sketchy.
Mihai and I were only 21 years old at this time. He had sexual relationships with at least a couple or few women in the past, and told me a story that his last girlfriend stalked him. I had sexual feelings when I was younger, but never fully fulfilled the desires with any of the men (or boys) I was with in earlier years. I always wanted to be in love with “the first”. I guess you could consider me a bit old-fashioned in this respect, even despite past periods of manic hypersexuality.
I felt fearless on the night we knew it would happen, despite my inexperience. He knew this. I was honest about it. Actually, he seemed nervous because of that fact. He told me that none of the young women he had been with in the past were.
We were alone in his dorm room. His roommate, coincidentally, was on temporary leave from college for…What do you know? A bipolar disorder episode of some sort. At the time I had not yet been diagnosed. Mihai wouldn’t learn this fact until many years later, though he would come to witness a lot of my symptoms, including the negative ones.
That night we were really all over each other. If I recall correctly, I was the one that told him I wanted it. I guess that despite my initiation I still wanted him to take charge. After all, it was my first time.
Mihai suggested we take a shower together. I thought that would be sexy for the first time seeing each other completely nude. Plus I guess it was nice to be extra clean. We went and it was wildly erotic. He was a very trim guy, and as I wrote, I was the trimmest I had been since taking ballet years before. I suppose I was a little self-conscious, but in general I was happy with my body.
After the shower, we moved back to his dorm room. The rest of this night’s story is just between him and me. He clearly knew what he was doing. I did my best not to look too awkward.
Sex fests became a very frequent part of our activities together for the remainder of our senior year, and sometimes it got a bit extra fun. I remember one time we set up a fort “tent” right in the middle of his dorm apartment living room. His roommates passed by knowing what went on within. I remember his apartment mate calling out to him right during (in the tent) that his mother was on the phone, and passing it through the “door”. I amaze myself now how disinhibited I became with him.
Speaking of tents, one of the nastiest things I did while clearly hypomanic was during a canoe trip with Mihai, Krista, and her two friends. Obviously Krista knew Mihai and I were together at that point. She was a bit quiet with both of us, but for some reason feigning friendship with us despite. After we reached our canoe destinations and set up camp, Mihai wanted me alone in his tent (just 10 feet from the other tent) and didn’t feel any reluctance to…you know. And my hypomanic mind again let me go along with it.
My friendship with Krista was obviously on shaky grounds. I visited her once alone at her home after that, and then joined her with her friend for an afternoon in a local tourist town. I parked a few spots down from her in a metered spot. I remember saying I needed to rush out and feed the meter with coins. She jumped up and volunteered to run there on my behalf. When I finally reached my car an hour later when leaving, I found the meter was expired, and a ticket was on my car windshield. I never saw her after that. To this day I wonder if she deliberately didn’t feed my meter. I guess if she didn’t, that was the least revenge I deserved. It is a real pity I screwed up that friendship, but I guess looking back at it, having had my first love with Mihai, I’d do it all over again. I guess.
The month of May of my senior year seemed to come in a flash. I had succeeded brilliantly at completing a heavy class load and getting excellent grades. Mihai came to my graduation with my family and it was a bitter sweet occasion. I was sad to see my college years over, but excited about what was to come. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Mihai had a separate graduation ceremony since he went to a different college within our university. He already had a physics internship set up, and was thinking about graduate schools.
During the summer and fall after graduation, Mihai and I got together every weekend at either my parents’ house or his. He lived about one hour away by car. Sometimes we camped in a forest in his parents’ Volkswagen camper van. That was fun!
Mihai was then seriously looking at graduate schools offering Ph.D. programs in Physics. He visited (sometimes with me), Yale, Harvard, Princeton, Cornell, and a well-known university in California. He was admitted to three of the five, and chose the university in California, which happened to be the furthest from our homes. We had a decision to make. Would I join him? Would we choose a long-distance relationship? Or go our separate ways? The latter two choices pretty much equated to the same thing. So, we both packed our bags and moved across the country.
To be continued in Part 3