“So what is the report?”

optimismHello Friends,

You’ve probably noticed that I have been absent for a few days, and some days before that. Let me assure you that it’s not because I’m doing poorly. Just the opposite. I’ve been doing quite well, and am even getting into the holiday spirit, the true spirit of what Christmas and New Years represent.

I think since I post a lot about bipolar illness, that it should be known that people with bipolar disorder can and do have lasting periods of stability. People with bipolar disorder can be fully productive and be just like anyone else. I can say that having a serious chronic illness, one learns some things that those who’ve never been chronically ill may not have, though most people on this earth do have other types of challenges that teach some of the same things. Patience, tolerance, having hope when there seems to be no hope, need for restraint, pushing oneself when there is no motivation or strength to do so, gratitude, true appreciation for the little things in life, acceptance of a new situation, and facing fears are just some examples. Are there other important lessons you’ve learned in life because of significant challenges?

Feeling well does give me a lot of gratitude and appreciation. I no longer take that for granted. I especially realized that today during my psychiatrist appointment. He’s a great gentleman, whom I’ve adored and appreciated for 12 years now. Each time I’ve seen him, when we first sit down, he’s said “Soooo, how are you doing?” To that, many answers have been given, too often starting “Well, I feel this way…or that way…or this is bothering me…or doing REALLY great…not getting enough sleep…tired all of the time…struggling…” Instead, today, he abandoned that signature question and said “Cindy, so what is the report?”, to which I answered:



“Holiday spirit”



“Just the right amount of everything, no more, no less”

Those words made him smile, of course. I went on to tell him that I’m looking forward to 2018 and leaving the grief and challenges of 2017 behind. Not that I’m forgetting those that I loved that passed away this year, but will go on living the best way I can in their honor, and for myself and my family.

I didn’t expect my psychiatrist to make any changes to my medications today, but he surprised me. He said that as of January 1, 2018 I can reduce one medication a little bit. Starting tomorrow, I can half the small dose of another. This confidence in me and my wellness is extremely encouraging. I feel good that it is reasonable (not reckless) and is a great step forward in a literal, and figurative  way.

I do plan to write at least one or two more posts before Christmas, and hope to come up with something interesting before New Years. In the meantime, I’m savoring every minute of the day.

16 thoughts on ““So what is the report?”

  1. Karin, theaustriandish December 20, 2017 / 10:06 pm

    Congratulation – it’s wunderful to read these good news. I can’t fully understand what it means to have bipolar disorder, but I understand that you have a great time right now 🙂
    To the wreaths: We have them already in advent season. They have four candles, and each Sunday we light one more. So, on the last Sunday before Christmas eve all four candles burn (this year the “last” Sunday is Christmas eve…).

    Liked by 1 person

    • updownflight December 21, 2017 / 12:57 am

      Thank you, Karin! And thank you for sharing about your tradition with the wreaths. There won’t be candles on my wreaths or tree, but my hubby said they still use real candles on trees in Czech Republic. Czech trees have fewer branches than most American Christmas trees. I think it would be quite dangerous lighting candles on our trees.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Karin, theaustriandish December 21, 2017 / 7:23 am

        You are right, it’s really dangerous. Every year houses and flats starts to burn because people don’t take care especially with with the tree. In my family we use electric light together with only a few candles.

        Liked by 1 person

      • updownflight December 21, 2017 / 12:28 pm

        Martin told me about the fires. I do think it is nice to have a couple of the real candles. I love to burn candles at Christmas, too, but in special table top ornaments.


      • Leona Course December 27, 2017 / 11:25 pm

        I like candles but I just bought my first three wick candle and I love it! Avon has them now!

        Liked by 1 person

      • updownflight December 28, 2017 / 12:16 am

        I’ve never heard of a three wick candle. I’ll have to look that up.


  2. Roda December 21, 2017 / 1:58 am

    Such a beautiful photo!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Cogitator December 21, 2017 / 8:02 am

    This is interesting. You have reminded me that I do feel incredibly grateful for feeling okay. And you reminded me to keep tapping into gratitude.

    And to your point on reducing medication. As soon as I start feeling well, I am quick to tell my psych that I want to reduce meds and reduce dosages. In fact, I sometimes go ahead and do that myself, fueled by a need to reduce the symptoms. And also because I start thinking: I cant be that bad anyway, right? And then it’s like ground-hog day… I fall down again. Year after year. Here is my question to you… doesn’t reducing meds just lead into the next episode?

    Because we are feeling better DUE TO the medication, and therefore we should logically stay on our current cocktail.

    So it was interesting to read that your psych was the one who suggested the decrease. What do you think?

    Liked by 1 person

    • updownflight December 21, 2017 / 12:35 pm

      Hi Cogitator, I guess med reductions can be OK perhaps depending on which is decreased and how much. Like, I know my Tegretol XR will never be reduced. My pdoc and I both, however, are happy to reduce my Seroquel XR when I’m doing well. Taking less Seroquel XR helps me lose weight and reduces morning sleepiness when I’m well. My pdoc reminded me when he reduced it that it will be increased again (quickly) if my moods become labile again. I can accept that.

      Wishing you wellness during the holidays and 2018!


      • Cogitator December 21, 2017 / 4:50 pm

        I get his and your point. It remains a complex cocktail to manage. Perhaps doing it myself is not the best idea. And same wishes back to you.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Touching Madness January 2, 2018 / 10:40 am

    Any positive is a positive! Stay focused a shoot forward…we all need that! Expression is key! Good or bad! Happy new year! tc!

    Liked by 1 person

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