Satisfied not always being “typical”

alone

When writing this post, I decided to put “typical” in quotes. Really, I think every person in this world is unique in several ways, but it is the case that large groups of people do share things in common, making them sort of “typical”. Of course I, too, share many things in common with the majority, but I thought I’d make a bit of a list of how I feel I’m different than most.

The differences I list below are ones I have by choice. In some cases my choices have been influenced by my upbringing and/or circumstances, but others not at all. I only list differences for which I have respect or understanding for opposing choices/views. I hope any readers will feel the same way about my choices.

  • An “au natural” woman – None of the women in my family ever wore much make up or had a particular obsession with fashion, except perhaps a little bit on special occasions. I neither have the talent nor the desire to paint my face elaborately or be a fashion plate. Though I do think many women who do, look nice, I’ve always been happy as I am. I suppose there are some men who prefer such women over the more “au natural” type, but I’ve found plenty who like me as I come. Even when it comes to body weight, I’ve been mostly happy with myself. Or at least I don’t obsess over being waif thin. My highest priority is to be relatively healthy. I think that is the primary motivator when I wish to drop some pounds. I do like when I am slim, but am pretty generous with what “slim” is.
  • Always danced to the beat of my own drum – From early age, I never considered myself a “follower”. A lot of my interests were atypical. I sucked at and never watched sports, I rarely cared about fashion, wasn’t always into the latest music or fads, my opinions were often not the norm. As a kid, I was even a bit of a tom boy. I didn’t always heed warnings that might have stopped me from exploring “the road less traveled”, that Robert Frost wrote about. Being a loner in that respect certainly isolated me at times, and at times I suffered consequences, but I made my own decisions. Conform, fit in, and/or hold back? Or follow my own path?

As I look back at my life, I have very few regrets about the choices I made, even the bad or unpopular ones. I have learned to admit when I was wrong or did wrong. Mistakes bring about a great learning experience, and make needed apologies more sincere. Rather than beat myself up for too long, I try to congratulate myself for having the open mind to see things differently (and better) eventually. I see all the choices that I made as contributing to who I am now, and my ultimate fate. I’m far from being perfect. I’ll never be perfect! But that’s OK.

  • Simplicity – In an earlier post, I wrote about Henry David Thoreau and his famous line “Simplify, simplify”. That’s usually always been my motto. I’ve always been happy in a small house, with a reliable but basic car. I don’t have a huge wardrobe, I’ve always had a nice but easy to handle hairstyle. I do my best to keep my life easy to manage…especially nowadays. Recognizing my stressors and doing my best to avoid or limit them helps. Of course I’ve had to make sacrifices, but those I’ve made I don’t really regret, or have made peace with them. After all, simplicity is not always deprivation, especially if you know how to derive pleasure from the seemingly small and yet still big reward things.
  • I don’t hold grudges and try not to allow myself to hate – I never really recall being a grudge holder. I always felt it hurt me more in the end. That’s not to say that I stayed for any abuse, though. There have been painful times that made me wary of certain things and people. Perhaps even to this day I confess to some avoidance. I guess I am like many others in occasionally feeling “Why me?” or “They/that is so abominable!” But at a point along the lines, I’ve learned to accept my own limitations and faults, and by doing so, learned to have mercy on others’. As a woman with a serious mental illness, I could feel justified at being angry, resentful, and feeling sorry for myself, but instead, I’ve eventually learned that that also does me no good. It’s been an incredible learning experience. One that only people who’ve had the greatest challenges in life really have.

Do you feel you’ve been more of a conformist throughout your life? How do you feel about the choices you’ve made that were atypical?

15 thoughts on “Satisfied not always being “typical”

  1. shatteredwishes March 5, 2018 / 6:42 pm

    I very much resonate with a lot of the”atypical” things you mentioned here in this post. First thing being that I used to be a very “au natural” woman for about 10 years. But as I grew out of my depression a bit, I enjoyed putting on the make-up and getting dressed up to go somewhere, (to a lunch with a friend, etc, definitely not to the grocery store because that’s a bit obsessive). I am typical because I have always LOVED fashion and makeup, but atypical because, very much like you, I “kept it simple.” I have a few nice clothes and some make-up, but I can literally say I have three pairs of shoes, MAX, and for a woman that is very much atypical.

    I was never much a conformist either. Being a tomboy myself growing up, I played with all the boys in the neighborhood, (with He-Man, Monster Trucks, video games etc rather than with Barbie), because well, their stuff was just cooler than girl stuff!! Added on to that is my ABSOLUTE LOVE of anything Star Trek and Star Wars, which was more of a guy thing than a girl thing back then, (that has changed a bit though recently).

    But thanks for the wonderful thought-provoking post! It was really nice to take a trip down memory lane this way. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • updownflight March 5, 2018 / 7:36 pm

      I’m glad you liked my post, shatterdwishes! I think the most important thing is to be confident and happy with anything “not considered typical”. I’ve changed now and then, myself. I actually do wear a bit of make up now and then. A lot more than I wore as a 20 something year old woman. Not because I’m getting older, but as you said, just because I’ve taken an interest in it. I still don’t know how to apply eye makeup, though. Oh well!

      That’s so great that you enjoyed playing with what you wanted to as a kid. I never really liked dolls or barbies. I could be found riding my bike around town, digging holes or making forts. I’m still in love with traveling.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Nel March 5, 2018 / 7:01 pm

    I’m definitely in the atypical boat. I don’t do makeup except for when I got married and even then it was basic foundation and lip gloss, haha. Being that I’m African American, I’ve also always had my natural locs. Didn’t do relaxers or wear weave. I love my hair even if it takes all day day to style. I don’t regret decisions I made either. Sometimes I think I could have maybe handled a situation differently but ultimately it is what it is and I accept it and move on. I don’t hold grudges either cause I’m usually the first person to try to get to the root of a problem and fix it if I can and apologize if necessary. I agree that it’s all a part of learning and growing.

    Great post Cindy!

    Liked by 1 person

    • updownflight March 5, 2018 / 7:44 pm

      Thanks, Nel! I love your statement “it is what it is and I accept it and move on”!

      I bet your hair is beautiful! On that note, lately it seems to be more the style to have straight hair, but I don’t care at all. My hair is naturally curly and it is just way too much trouble to straighten. And why? I embrace my curly hair like you embrace your hair. I am lucky that I did eventually stumble upon a haircut that makes it easy for me to make look good. I get compliments on it and I always say “All I have to do is brush it when it’s wet, scrunch, scrunch, and voila!” That’s happiness for a person like me who actually doesn’t want to spend much time on it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Nel March 5, 2018 / 7:46 pm

        Haha! I wish my hair was that simple but I wouldn’t trade it for any other type of hair. I bet your hair is super cute! I personally like curly styles. They have more character than boring straight. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • updownflight March 5, 2018 / 7:50 pm

        Well, mine is definitely sometimes far from boring. On occasion I can make it look so wild that I get a big laugh out of it. My picture can definitely be in the dictionary under “bed head” some mornings. Then it looks great at other times.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. azzamap March 5, 2018 / 7:18 pm

    you spoke my mind until you spoke about grudges. I do hold grudges but ​I​ am trying to let go as much as ​I can.

    Liked by 1 person

    • updownflight March 5, 2018 / 7:46 pm

      My husband and his siblings are prone to hold grudges. It is sad. Hopefully if you can let go a bit the other person will give enough to make letting go further a little easier.

      Liked by 1 person

      • azzamap March 5, 2018 / 11:50 pm

        I tend to forgive but not forget so that I do not face any more awful situation by people who try to treat others as doormat

        Liked by 1 person

      • updownflight March 6, 2018 / 12:49 pm

        That’s definitely a good thing. We should never allow that.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. NaPropasti March 5, 2018 / 8:49 pm

    I like people who don’t hold grudges and wish I could teach my friends and family to drop that petty stuff. Makes me angry.
    I might be a little stubborn, but always try to listen and be tolerant.
    Another thing I share with you is that I couldn’t care less about sports and don’t understand the obsession of the masses with watching grown-ups running around in pursuit of a ball. What a waste of time, one could spend on philately or rock climbing or anything else.

    Liked by 1 person

    • updownflight March 5, 2018 / 9:25 pm

      I hope your family and friends soon realize what they’re losing out on by not having you in their life.

      If people truly love sports I think that’s great, as long as they don’t reject other things they may like more just to “fit in”.

      Like

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