So today, I am on my way to the grocery store. En route, I start thinking that something seems weird, but I couldn’t immediately put my finger on it. Then I realized that I couldn’t see very well. I forgot to put on my glasses. That never happens, since I’m pretty near-sighted, and under normal circumstances would figure it out immediately. I didn’t turn back, but managed to get to the store. I found a pair of prescription sun glasses in my purse and put them on before I entered the store.
Entering the store, I was just walking forward with my grocery cart. My cart then bumped into a grocery worker’s metal work cart. I quickly apologized, but then she gave me a very nasty look. Quickly I scolded her that there are always carts blocking customers’ ways, and that I can’t see very well. It was true that she was blocking the way. She was just standing there doing nothing with an empty worker cart. The cart could have been pushed further to the side, but the woman left it in the middle of the path. I felt happy that I scolded her because she was inconsiderate. I was almost happy I rammed into her stupid cart, though I didn’t do it deliberately.
Though I had a shopping list, during my shopping I kept forgetting things and had to totally back track to the beginning of my shopping route. I was getting frustrated and started to sweat. At the end, I went to a cashier that I knew and liked, because I was afraid I’d end up having some uncomfortable experience with anyone else.
I got home and was unloading the groceries. I put mouthwash in the refrigerator at one point. Then I was taking the garbage to the garage and totally passed the garbage can heading as if I was going to my car trunk. Maybe to get more groceries that weren’t there? Who knows!
I decided to go to bed with my laptop. I was glad to hide away.
Last night I went to bed at a fairly early time. Maybe 9:30 pm, which probably still felt like 8:30 pm given the time change in the US. But I did wake up a lot throughout the night, at one point thinking I might start baking something, but I was smart and didn’t, and managed to get back to sleep until about 6:45 am, which again was more like 5:45 am, pretty darned early for me.
I wonder if this distractability and spaciness I’m experiencing is some kind of a sign of something to come. A transitional sign. I know I have such symptoms when I’m in bipolar episodes, especially manic ones. But I don’t feel even mildly hypomanic in other ways at this point, though I do have a history of upswings (or even mania) this time of year. Really, February or March inevitably brings some kind of change in my mood.
I do not have ADHD.