Pluck me from this horrid place that I have lived in for so long. No, not from my literal home with you, my love, but from the jail of its inner rooms.
You know the jail itself is solely in my brain. Outside with you are miles of beauty. And yet you only ever look through my jail window at me, saturated by grey and black. Though I do see a glimpse of the outside beauty past your face, it seems surreal and distant. Your face looks sad and frustrated. I kiss it through the jail window, but we both want more.
Have you been watching the news lately? If so, there’s been a lot of talk about women being victimized at drunken parties in high school and college. Or women victimized by stars like Bill Cosby, formerly thought of as a “Sweet Dad” figure. I’m not a judge, and I’m not part of a jury regarding the person(s) in the news, but I can tell you that I know such victimizations do indeed happen, and a lot! I’m reblogging my story below from a long time ago. I was extremely lucky! Many girls/women (and sometimes the occasional guy) aren’t so lucky. At the time, I knew I might have escaped something potentially bad, but I didn’t think much more of it for long afterwards. Now I’m thinking about people who weren’t so lucky.
Though I didn’t suffer any major consequences the day I drank illegally in the story below, what was done to me was still a crime. I don’t happen to remember any faces or names from that night, other than perhaps the face and name of my freshman year roommate. If I did, I would be severely unhappy with them. Would I have reported them if I did? I don’t know. Actually, I kind of doubt it. But if I did know the person’s name who put that drug into my drink, and later learned that person lied about having done a crime to the whole world, I would say something.
My husband just LOVES apples! You’ve probably heard the saying “An apple a day keeps the doctor away”? Well, he certainly eats at least one apple every day. Maybe even two, or sometimes three. Actually, last weekend we went to a local apple orchard, and I swear he ate five. Honestly! September and October is certainly apple time in our part of the United States. Every year we can’t resist going to the orchard when they are in season, and picking two big canvas bags worth. The price was good, but because of the weight, we spent almost $50 total for those filled sacks. Good grief! What are we to do with all of the apples? Even my hubby can’t manage to eat them up too quickly.
My husband has his clear favorite apples varieties (Jonathan and Macoun), but the orchard we go to…
I vowed not to skip my weekly Friday Fitness and Weight Loss updates, but I obviously did these past few weeks. I wasn’t on any pre-planned vacation. I was just feeling particularly unwell. I’m not going to beat myself up for this. It’s not nice to beat oneself up for neglecting things when unwell. Also, I’d rather pat myself on the back for posting this today instead of completely abandoning my updates. I do have good results, despite some indulgences. Find them below: Continue reading →
I neglected to weigh myself on my official weigh in day (Friday), and didn’t write my weekly Friday Fitness & Weight Loss update on my blog that day either, as you can see. I did weigh myself today (Monday) and I’m up 0.8 lbs after last week’s mega gain. I’m sad to say that I’ve regained over half of what I lost during this journey, even since early May. Back then I thought by now I would have reached a normal Body Mass Index (BMI). It has not happened. I guess I could punish myself mentally and feel like I’ve failed, but I’m not going to. I keep writing these updates, and I am still a lower weight than when I started. I guess even if I gained all of the weight back (and more), I could at least say that I’ve learned from this experience. Continue reading →
Main Topic: Extreme stress and binge eating (self-medication)
I have been under a great deal of stress lately because of many things. I won’t list them here, but I’d say they number at least five. Unfortunately, I am not always good at handling stress, despite years of learning and practicing coping skills in therapy.
I’ve felt so unwell for the past couple of weeks. I must confess that I “fell off the wagon” both weeks, but particularly this week. Some of my meals were just scrounged from the far reaches of the fridge. Some were delivery, and not the most diet-friendly choices. I guess in my ill state I just didn’t care. Sorry I’m not a better example for dieters right now. Those who follow this update series know that I gained a bit last week. My weight has been going up and down. I’ve been lucky so far that the downs have been about the same as the ups. Continue reading →
I’m not sure if I can do justice to this topic right now, but I’m posting about it anyway to explain why I haven’t been around much.
Starting around April of this year, my blog posting slowed up significantly. I confess that my habit of reading other peoples’ blog posts slowed up even more. I don’t even remember where my head was then. Continue reading →