Pluck me from this horrid place

key in door

Pluck me from this horrid place that I have lived in for so long. No, not from my literal home with you, my love, but from the jail of its inner rooms.

You know the jail itself is solely in my brain. Outside with you are miles of beauty. And yet you only ever look through my jail window at me, saturated by grey and black. Though I do see a glimpse of the outside beauty past your face, it seems surreal and distant. Your face looks sad and frustrated. I kiss it through the jail window, but we both want more. Continue reading

To a young man that I will always love

dancing with birds

As a tot, you had a thick round crown of beautiful brown hair, with a smile that charmed, and eyes that set my mind at ease.

You were always a quiet little boy, but when our family lost your grandmother I saw deep sadness in those eyes. They spoke of deep regret and loss. I cried with you and we hugged each other tightly, with your head softly upon my breast. Continue reading

Family roots pulled up and separated

oak tree

My mother was the central root of my family “tree”. She kept a strong link between us all, and allowed the family “tree” to stand tall and secure in the ground. When she was alive we were all gathered together. We knew what was happening to each of us at almost all times. Every celebration was a large family affair and maintained traditional customs that dated back generations. We always felt a connection with our childhood home in the New Jersey woods. She was our childhood home, and when she lived, that “home” was a living thriving being. It was rare that any one of us (her children, spouse, parents, siblings, in-laws, cousins, friends) ever felt neglected or alone. There was a constant closeness and interconnection to each member root of the family and beyond because of our link to her. Continue reading

Hating is not fair

jail behind barbed wire

“I’ve come to understand and to believe that each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done. I believe that for every person on the planet. I think if somebody tells a lie, they’re not just a liar. I think if somebody takes something that doesn’t belong to them, they’re not just a thief. I think even if you kill someone, you’re not just a killer. And because of that, there’s this basic human dignity that must be respected by law.” – Bryan Stevenson Continue reading