Bipolar (or major depressive) episode denial – Wanting to be stable

moodchart example

The topic of this post is not denial of a bipolar or major depressive disorder diagnosis, though that is extremely common, it is rather when you accept your diagnosis, but don’t want to accept that you’re in an episode.   Continue reading

Using my blog as a place to work on my memoir

writing keeps me sane

About four years ago, I decided that an online class of some sort would be good for me. I haven’t been able to work for a long time because of my mental illness, and other than chores and errands, which I sometimes struggle(d) with, I’ve only been able to do limited things on the computer. The first online class I took was one on memoir writing. I was happy that added something new and enriching in my life. It also made me toy with the idea of writing a memoir of my own. I am a neophyte when it comes to such ambitious writing projects, but not so new to writing short stories. Continue reading

Illusions vs. Hallucinations – Does Truth Always Matter?

 

Have you ever been so tired, feverish, or just perplexed, you couldn’t with certainty tell whether the postman at the door was real? Or, have you been extremely concerned when your wife declared that even though David Bowie is dead, she was singing the Marseillaise with him in the kitchen last night? Is there a scientific explanation for these moments? Am I just going bonkers? Is my wife ill in some way? Was it an illusion or hallucination, or in fact, reality? Continue reading

Binge eating and other overeating – What do you believe causes yours?

I think it was about two and a half months ago that I joined Weight Watchers for perhaps the fifth time ever. Unfortunately, after about two weeks, I was no longer going again. My husband encouraged me to cancel the membership, so we wouldn’t spend more money needlessly, like I had done several times in the past with the gym. So I did, and went back to overeating and eating the wrong things. It was as if this feeling of failure just made me resigned to the fact that dieting efforts were too tough. Continue reading

I just want to go home, but I’m already home

home seclusion

I remember being at work, or somewhere else, and thinking over and over again that “I just want to go home.” The hours seemed like days. I’d watch the clock, and it would seem to have stopped. Two minutes before I was officially to be set free, I’d run around the corner and make an escape. I knew that those last two minutes would just kill me, so I had to make the run for it while I could still breathe.  Continue reading

Obsessive or maladaptive daydreaming easing back into grounded creative thinking

daydreaming

When I was about 20 years old, I had fallen into a deep depression. I was a junior in college at the time. I ended up having to drop two of my classes, taking me down to the minimum 12 credits needed in order to stay in campus housing. I could hardly even handle the 12 credits. I missed several class meetings, but did manage to go when exams were held. I’d spend most of the days in my bed ruminating about death, and my lack of ability to cope with life. Hours flew by quickly; I’d sleep 12 or more hours, and wake up again to resume ruminating.  Continue reading

Taming anger – Calming that Tasmanian Devil

Tasmanian devil

She could be the funniest, sweetest and most happy-go-lucky girl around town. She was constantly smiling, on the move, dancing in a field of flowers. She loved people, and most loved her, until the inevitable moment struck. There was a change in the moon, a single word misspoken, a plan suggested off her route, and BOOM!  Goodbye angel girl, hello to the Tasmanian Devil! Continue reading

A Story of Musical Hallucinations (When music mostly died for me)

Music notes birdI don’t know how long it’s been exactly, but I’d say at least four years.  It was back then that for me the music stopped sounding good, or at least it stopped invigorating my soul. How to really explain it, I do not know.

I was a dancer from the first days that I remember. Music was central in my life. Jazz played in my grandparents’ music room. Classical music in the dance studio. I liked Rock and Roll the whole time, too. Really any music satisfied me, and I could dance to almost anything, even the buzzing of the street lamp, or the sound of a rope slapping the flag pole in the wind. Continue reading

Hyperfocusing vs. multitasking

I have read that some people with ADHD/ADD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) have a tendency to hyperfocus on one task, subject, or topic, while others have difficulty focusing on any one thing at all. I don’t have ADHD or ADD, but people close to me have drawn attention to my trait of hyperfocusing since I was a little child. Continue reading

Types of Psychotherapy for Bipolar Disorder

psychotherapyPsychotherapy, when added to medications, has been shown to be very beneficial for people with bipolar disorder, and many other types of disorders, too. Medications alone do not always completely address all of the illness-related issues such as anxiety, persistent sub-threshold depression, illness adjustment, adherence to medications, and social and occupational functioning. There are many options in psychotherapy that are helpful for people with bipolar disorder. Multiple approaches using different strategies and tools have been developed.

It is suggested that patients with any type of psychological disorder discuss the best type(s) of therapy for their case with their psychiatrist or other mental healthcare provider. Continue reading