Waiting at the gate for autumn to begin

autumn gate

Do you have a favorite season of the year? If so, which one and why?

After a long winter I welcome the spring for the flowers, milder temperatures and the pleasure to see the grass again. Though summer sports and vacations have their appeal, the extreme heat and humidity can be too much for me. Yes, winter has its wonderland days, but at my age the fun of making snowmen, igloos, and having snow ball fights has sort of passed. Now it’s more fear of driving in the snow, clearing off cars, and shivering any time I go out the door.

So, my favorite season is fall. Continue reading

Crash! Crack! Boom! from frequent clumsiness

broken glass

I think there are a lot of medications out there that include a little tag reading “Be careful operating a motor vehicle or machinery until you are familiar with how it affects you.” Or “May cause dizziness.” Such clumsiness, lack of alertness or slow reaction time, however, is not limited to those on medication(s), but can be caused from various illnesses themselves, or maybe just plain old clumsiness or distractability from an unknown source. Continue reading

Why I’m no longer striving to be the absolute best

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I have encountered a few blogs that post mostly about striving to be the absolute best or being a stereotypical “success” in life. It’s like they feel that nothing below the “best” is adequate and that not being the king or queen of the mountain, the head of the whole shebang, the crème de la crème, etc., is good enough.  I’m afraid I’ve not been able to continue reading such posts. Not so much because I don’t think I’d ever be capable if I put in 110% and had a little luck, but because sometimes and for somethings 110% seems like too much, especially if it breeds obsession, and feelings of inadequacy if you don’t meet such lofty goals. Such a difficult meal to cook can turn out to be inedible. Continue reading

If only I could go to a Czech spa right now!

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Mariánské Lázně in Czech Republic

In my husband’s home country of Czech Republic, if you are a bit under the weather or recuperating from a major illness, your doctor may prescribe a two to three week in-patient treatment at a spa (or lázně in Czech), which is covered by health insurance. There, patients are evaluated by a doctor specializing in balneotherapy (treating disease by baths) or physical therapy, who assembles an individual plan of procedures and treatments. Those range from drinking (the mineral waters!), bathing (not only in the mineral waters, but also in waters infused with herbs, fruit, salts, hops, malt extract, and others), wraps, massages, exercise, special diet, etc. Continue reading

Woman wanting to strengthen relationships with other women

female friends2I am a woman in her 40s, happily married to a wonderful man for almost 20 years, but beyond that fact I also need to connect more fully with others, especially women.  It’s been quite a long time since I had a close relationship with a woman outside of my immediate family. It’s a fact I want to further examine, and a goal I want to pursue. Continue reading

Pluck me from this horrid place

key in door

Pluck me from this horrid place that I have lived in for so long. No, not from my literal home with you, my love, but from the jail of its inner rooms.

You know the jail itself is solely in my brain. Outside with you are miles of beauty. And yet you only ever look through my jail window at me, saturated by grey and black. Though I do see a glimpse of the outside beauty past your face, it seems surreal and distant. Your face looks sad and frustrated. I kiss it through the jail window, but we both want more. Continue reading

Self-destructive habits performed by threesome

 

In a small house lived three creatures yearning for inner peace. Though they loved and supported each other, any kind of sickness still seemed contagious. The stress was like a thick cloud that filled everyone’s lungs like an allergen. You may see that such pain manifests itself sometimes in similar or other times in different ways among closely connected people. Much of it is indeed born from stress, anxiety or depression. Much of it is also self-destructive. In these cases, it’s almost obsessive or compulsive in nature. At least the examples I provide below are. Continue reading

Feigning wellness

OKI’ll be straight with all of you. I haven’t felt well at all lately, but I’m only mentioning this because I feel that I can no longer feign wellness. My last post was a clear indication that I can no longer keep up the front. Quitting the “front” is a huge relief and writing about this is cathartic.

I know that feigning wellness is not solely practiced by people suffering from mental illness. I think many people (or even most people) out there have covered up their true feelings at times, especially in front of others. Maybe you’re having physical discomfort, like headaches or stomach distress. Continue reading

Sensory overload

curtains drawn

So today’s WordPress blog daily word prompt is “sunny”. I’m afraid, folks, that I am feeling far from sunny today. Grief fills my heart, mind and soul and everything around me looks grey and decaying. Even with my bedroom light turned on I feel overwhelmed. I shut my curtains for relief. It’s almost as if I have a migraine, but there is no headache, per se. No, my head doesn’t ache, but a great weight is bearing down on it, causing dullness in thinking, strain, and utter fatigue. Continue reading