A bipolar disorder irritability story. Not even a severe one. Won’t even go there!

Anger sign

I thought I was doing fairly well today, mood-wise, until I went to the grocery store. Well, maybe I started to get unwell towards the end of my conversation with my sister. She didn’t say anything to trigger it. I totally brought it on myself. I was not angry at her at all, but more fuming about other people (politicians, certain organizations, etc.). Then I asked my brother to come over for dinner tomorrow, in exchange for some handyman advice. He accepted, so then I realized I needed some groceries in order to make him a nice meal. So I set out for the grocery store. Then the “irritability” started to balloon. Continue reading

Cars, racing with blinders on, and staring forward looking at virtual nothing

Walk down road
I remember many years of journeys without a car. Of course they started in early childhood, and continued when I went to a small private school in an rural environment. In the beginning of my time there, I waited for a van transport home each afternoon. Then I decided to just walk home, instead. It was a four mile walk. I either felt one with nature and carefully observed my surroundings, or was creating stories in my head. My own stories. Sometimes people I knew spotted me and gave me a ride part of the way, but that was only occasionally.

Continue reading

Is it a bipolar mixed episode, ultra rapid cycling, or just “mood lability”?

mixed episode face

Putting a label on what’s happening to one’s mood can sometimes be difficult for people with bipolar disorder (BP). Having visited bipolar online forums for years, I encountered the questions in the title quite often. I know what is written in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – Fifth Edition (DSM-5) and highly-regarded textbooks on the disorder, but that hasn’t always cleared up my occasional confusion, either. Some questions have been mostly answered, but others not fully. Truth is, answers can vary by mental health expert. Even the teams of doctors and consultants working on the DSM debated on some of its contents. Regardless, I hope some of what’s in this post is interesting food for thought. Continue reading

So extremely bad…that it’s amazing!!!

Angry chicken

So my husband and I went to Lowe’s today to look for a new faucet to go with the new counter top we’ll have installed next week. I knew we’d end up leaving there with more than we could carry. I know my people! So, I volunteered to get a cart, leaving hubby to enter the store on his own. When I returned to him, I saw him standing with a young female clerk, both laughing hysterically. I said “What on earth did you say to this young lady?!?!” Continue reading

Interesting similarities/links between bipolar disorder & other conditions

I’ve done a bit of research in the past about dissociative symptoms, migraines, bipolar disorder, seizure disorders and pseudo seizures, and even fibromyalgia. There are an uncanny number of  similarities/links between them in some peoples’ experiences. Some (not all necessarily common to all) are as follows: Continue reading

Stream of consciousness – From the present working backwards

stream of consciousness

I’ve been in one of those strange states where at times I feel and seem extremely normal and even pretty well, and yet in ways I’m really struggling. My eating has been just terrible. Really terrible! And I’m even hiding a lot of it from my husband. Almost like when an alcohol abuser hides their bottles.

Morning and early afternoons seem to be OK, but come around 3 pm and I feel like I’m slipping. I’ll admit that I just got my monthly. Perhaps that is playing into this. My motivation is almost nil right now. I have no idea what to make for dinner, and wish I didn’t even have to make it. I wish some vegetable heavy meal would just show up on my table at 7 pm when my husband gets home, and call me to the table, too. Continue reading

Bipolar Disorder and Difficulties Multitasking

Multitasking woman

I’ve been mostly absent from WordPress for quite a while now, except the occasional post, mostly diet-related. I’ve been under a great deal of stress, and have been having trouble expressing myself in certain ways. It’s also been difficult for me to do certain basic activities of daily living, and more difficult to do even more complex chores and tasks, that many people do easily. Multitasking? Overwhelming! Stuff is falling through the cracks, overlooked, and clumsily handled, if handled. Continue reading

US citizens – Please vote, if you can!

Your vote countsI’d like to urge everyone of age in the USA, whose eligible, to vote. Today (Tuesday, November 6, 2018) is Election Day in the USA. There are many issues that affect those like me with mental illness or other illnesses, significantly. Or ones that don’t now, may very well in years to come. No matter what your priorities are, everyone’s vote makes a difference. Not voting is often regrettable. Around 40% or more eligible voters don’t vote. Imagine that! That’s horrible that non voters’ interests aren’t represented!

Not registered to vote? Though in some states it’s too late to register on election day, in several states there is same day registration that makes it possible. See http://www.ncsl.org/research/electio…istration.aspx for details. If it is too late in your state, please consider registering as soon as possible, so you can vote in the next election.

Don’t know where to vote? Visit  https://www.vote.org/polling-place-locator/ to find out.

Week 16 – Friday Fitness and Weight Loss Update

Stress photo

Main Topic: Extreme stress and binge eating (self-medication)

I have been under a great deal of stress lately because of many things. I won’t list them here, but I’d say they number at least five. Unfortunately, I am not always good at handling stress, despite years of learning and practicing coping skills in therapy.

“Self-medicating” stress can take on many forms. For some people it’s Continue reading