Getting where I need to be (and thanks to Nel for telling me it’s World Turtle Day). Moving slowly but surely.

catapult

I’m like a turtle sitting in its box, or at the least slowly making its way to a not so obvious destination, and then returning home in frustration.

I am slowed down not just from my general condition, but a chemical fix that is meant to keep me sedated and calm. Unfortunately this fix slows me down more than I’d wish. I try to push myself. Or maybe sometimes there’s an invisible slow-moving hand pushing me forward, with my feet and belly sliding on the ground. Continue reading

Left adrift, but found our way

sailboat

Looking back at my childhood through my mid 20s, I suppose one could say that compared to other youth, I was mostly left adrift. I think my siblings were, as well. My parents were the opposite of “helicopter parents” in that they did not control our every move. In fact, they did not control much of what we did. They provided us with a nice home, and good food to eat. They took us on weekend and other excursions. They did teach us right from wrong, but beyond that we had a certain freedom that many other children our ages didn’t seem to have. Continue reading

Learning from Cats

nine lives-001

Right now, I am resigned to the necessity of patience and carefully calculated approaches. Being middle-aged, I have learned from the impulsivity of my youth. It took me a very long time to get to this point of control, and ability to safely stay put. Today, I’m aware how important it is to keep my eyes widely opened to make sure I know what is ahead, aside and behind me. Continue reading

My 1st through 10th painful psychiatric incarcerations (Part 4 of 4)

depression falling down

Please consider reading Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 of this four part post series before continuing with this post.

***Some content in this post may be disturbing or triggering. This post primarily focuses on a major depressive episode of Bipolar disorder type 1***

At the end of Part 3 of this post series, I had attended my eighth out of 10 hospitalizations for mania and/or mania with mixed features, and was again in an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP). The remaining major depressive episode eased briefly. I had improved sufficiently enough to return back to work part-time and resume care under my private psychiatrist, Dr. Ripley.

Only two months later, the depressive episode worsened to severe, but there were no hints of mania involved. Continue reading

Peaceful and effective collaboration in writing

editor

I have always considered myself to be an idea person. Having ideas certainly helps in my ability to write, not just in coming up with new themes, but in variety of writing styles. Generally in my most personal pieces, I tend to go through the process completely alone. The full written piece is just mine. But there are other pieces I write that with collaboration from others (mostly only my husband), become even more effective, and I feel more appealing to a greater audience. Continue reading

My 1st through 10th painful psychiatric incarcerations (Part 2 of 4)

outburst

***Some content in this post series may be very triggering***

In Part 1 of this post series, I mentioned that I do not remember at least half of my 10 psychiatric hospitalizations, mostly the second half. In order to write this part of the series I’ve had to refer to the past hospital records I collected to figure out what likely happened when. I may still mix some things up. The hospital records do not contain the full story of my experiences. I remember mentioning that to my current psychiatrist of 12 years, and he said he wasn’t surprised. Continue reading

New Jersey and You, Perfect Together

Huge thanks to Mohamad Al Karbi for the invite to guest write in his wonderful blog’s “Around the World” section. I’ve enjoyed Mohamad’s blog since the beginning of my time on WordPress, and have much appreciated his support of mine. He asked me to write the post below about where I come from, and I […]

via New Jersey and You, Perfect Together — Mohamad Al Karbi

There’s lots to learn about New Jersey.

-updownflight (Bird Flight blog)

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