About nine years ago, I reached my heaviest weight ever. It happened so quickly! I blamed a combination of the depression I had experienced that year, and the weight unfriendly medications I was taking. In addition, being overweight was not exactly rare in my family.
My depression, at that time, was so stubborn that I was urged to get a series of electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) treatments. The treatments actually did alleviate my depression, but then the doctors put me back on the same weight unfriendly and ineffective mix I was on before the ECT. The depression came back. I was also told that I was pre-diabetic, had high cholesterol, and very high triglycerides. Really, enough was enough! I luckily had a major medication overhaul and my general practitioner (GP) was giving me lectures about my diet and lack of exercise. Continue reading →
I remember many years of journeys without a car. Of course they started in early childhood, and continued when I went to a small private school in an rural environment. In the beginning of my time there, I waited for a van transport home each afternoon. Then I decided to just walk home, instead. It was a four mile walk. I either felt one with nature and carefully observed my surroundings, or was creating stories in my head. My own stories. Sometimes people I knew spotted me and gave me a ride part of the way, but that was only occasionally.
So my husband and I went to Lowe’s today to look for a new faucet to go with the new counter top we’ll have installed next week. I knew we’d end up leaving there with more than we could carry. I know my people! So, I volunteered to get a cart, leaving hubby to enter the store on his own. When I returned to him, I saw him standing with a young female clerk, both laughing hysterically. I said “What on earth did you say to this young lady?!?!” Continue reading →
I’ve been in one of those strange states where at times I feel and seem extremely normal and even pretty well, and yet in ways I’m really struggling. My eating has been just terrible. Really terrible! And I’m even hiding a lot of it from my husband. Almost like when an alcohol abuser hides their bottles.
Morning and early afternoons seem to be OK, but come around 3 pm and I feel like I’m slipping. I’ll admit that I just got my monthly. Perhaps that is playing into this. My motivation is almost nil right now. I have no idea what to make for dinner, and wish I didn’t even have to make it. I wish some vegetable heavy meal would just show up on my table at 7 pm when my husband gets home, and call me to the table, too. Continue reading →
I’m not sure if I can do justice to this topic right now, but I’m posting about it anyway to explain why I haven’t been around much.
Starting around April of this year, my blog posting slowed up significantly. I confess that my habit of reading other peoples’ blog posts slowed up even more. I don’t even remember where my head was then. Continue reading →
This morning, I was in Burger King splurging on a breakfast sandwich, and on a TV was a show called “Wendy”. The topic was Morgan Freeman and the recent inappropriate behavior/misconduct accusations against him. I listened to the accusations, which after stated received shocked “Ooooos!” from the Wendy audience. I also learned that his contract with Visa Corporation for commercials ended because of them. Will more be? Will we ever see or hear him again? I scratched my head and thought that there seemed a clear difference between his (what I call) inappropriate “dirty old man” behavior, and some of the very serious sexual misconduct, intimidation, and rape charges of other famous men, like Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein, and Bill Cosby. Continue reading →
I know that pets are so significant in many of our lives. Most give us unconditional love, make us laugh, become integral members of our family, and much more. As a person with bipolar disorder (a mental illness), I’ve also experienced pets as a source of great emotional support. During my life, I have primarily been a cat or parrot owner, but I love all animals. When I see any animal struggling or injured (or dead alongside the road) it breaks my heart. The sad thing is that such observations are far too numerous. Obviously some of these occurrences are just the reality of nature, others are clearly caused by humans, unintentionally, and tragically sometimes intentionally. Though many of us wish we could end humans’ negative impact on animals, often we have to become partially numb to it, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to do some things that can make a difference. Continue reading →
My post title today is nothing I literally did, but it is a figurative representation of something I have done today literally, and might do with other things, as well. Have you ever just wished that stuff you needed to do was just “Poof!” done or gone? Or that a specific time just passed without having to live it? That’s kind of how I’m feeling today. Continue reading →
Actually, I do have a real vacation coming up, but not quite yet. My husband and I are going to Portugal to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary in the not too distant future. We loved Portugal the first time we went. In fact, it was about the most relaxing satisfying trips I’ve ever taken in my life. Unlike vacations that preceded it, I had no anger outbursts, no anxieties, was motivated to explore, and found pleasure in almost everything. I experienced true peace. I was also not hypomanic or manic. The enjoyment I experienced was pure grounded free pleasure. Though we haven’t yet left for our second trip to that lovely country, I am already feeling that same feeling, even at home. Continue reading →
In the near future, my husband and I will take a vacation to celebrate a special event, but just recently, I started a serious weight loss effort. I still have weeks to go before our trip, but the topic of dieting while on vacation has already popped up in my head. Continue reading →