Stream of consciousness – From the present working backwards

stream of consciousness

I’ve been in one of those strange states where at times I feel and seem extremely normal and even pretty well, and yet in ways I’m really struggling. My eating has been just terrible. Really terrible! And I’m even hiding a lot of it from my husband. Almost like when an alcohol abuser hides their bottles.

Morning and early afternoons seem to be OK, but come around 3 pm and I feel like I’m slipping. I’ll admit that I just got my monthly. Perhaps that is playing into this. My motivation is almost nil right now. I have no idea what to make for dinner, and wish I didn’t even have to make it. I wish some vegetable heavy meal would just show up on my table at 7 pm when my husband gets home, and call me to the table, too. Continue reading

Bipolar Disorder and Difficulties Multitasking

Multitasking woman

I’ve been mostly absent from WordPress for quite a while now, except the occasional post, mostly diet-related. I’ve been under a great deal of stress, and have been having trouble expressing myself in certain ways. It’s also been difficult for me to do certain basic activities of daily living, and more difficult to do even more complex chores and tasks, that many people do easily. Multitasking? Overwhelming! Stuff is falling through the cracks, overlooked, and clumsily handled, if handled. Continue reading

Week 15 – Friday Fitness and Weight Loss Update

Scale with question marks

Main Topic: Surprise! Hmm?

I’ve felt so unwell for the past couple of weeks. I must confess that I “fell off the wagon” both weeks, but particularly this week. Some of my meals were just scrounged from the far reaches of the fridge. Some were delivery, and not the most diet-friendly choices. I guess in my ill state I just didn’t care. Sorry I’m not a better example for dieters right now. Those who follow this update series know that I gained a bit last week. My weight has been going up and down. I’ve been lucky so far that the downs have been about the same as the ups. Continue reading

When people with bipolar disorder disappear or “fall off the map”

hide in the cornerI’m not sure if I can do justice to this topic right now, but I’m posting about it anyway to explain why I haven’t been around much.

Starting around April of this year, my blog posting slowed up significantly. I confess that my habit of reading other peoples’ blog posts slowed up even more. I don’t even remember where my head was then. Continue reading

Week 13 – Friday Fitness and Weight Loss Update

Turtle race
My weight loss may sometimes be slow, but I will make it to the finish line!

I have mentioned my bipolar disorder in past Friday Fitness and Weight Loss updates, but I haven’t fully explained how mood disorders, and some of their medications, can affect weight loss efforts. Of course not everyone with bipolar disorder has the same struggles or successes, but there are tendencies that do seem common. I’d like to reflect on this in this update. As usual, I will also share this week’s results. Continue reading

Week 8 – Friday Fitness and Weight Loss Update

 

Above: Some of the foods I went overboard eating this week.

Well, you might recall my hefty weight loss just after my return home from Portugal, but since then I’ve fallen off the fitness and weight loss program. I’m glad, however, that I continue to write these updates. Continue reading

Punishment severity (and references to Me Too movement)

Tar and feather
This man was tarred and feathered.

This morning, I was in Burger King splurging on a breakfast sandwich, and on a TV was a show called “Wendy”. The topic was Morgan Freeman and the recent inappropriate behavior/misconduct accusations against him. I listened to the accusations, which after stated received shocked “Ooooos!” from the Wendy audience. I also learned that his contract with Visa Corporation for commercials ended because of them. Will more be? Will we ever see or hear him again? I scratched my head and thought that there seemed a clear difference between his (what I call) inappropriate “dirty old man” behavior, and some of the very serious sexual misconduct, intimidation, and rape charges of other famous men, like Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein, and Bill Cosby. Continue reading

Week 7 – Friday Fitness and Weight Loss Update

jet lag
I hate airports and jet lag!

TGIF! I’m happy to report that I’m finally tracking my eating again, after not doing so during the full course of my recent two-week vacation, and four days after my return.  Those following my updates saw that I gained much more than expected during my time away from home. Stress eating and illness unfortunately played a part. Continue reading