I will love you forever, and you will never die

heart grass

It was September 2004 when my mental illness worsened more than ever before; due to several factors I won’t go into here. My husband was quite concerned and decided to take me to the mountains to recover. Prior to the trip, I found that my mother seemed quite unwell, always in her bed napping. My father and I discussed the matter, but he said her doctor just told her to get some rest and take some pills he prescribed for her. Continue reading

To a young man that I will always love

dancing with birds

As a tot, you had a thick round crown of beautiful brown hair, with a smile that charmed, and eyes that set my mind at ease.

You were always a quiet little boy, but when our family lost your grandmother I saw deep sadness in those eyes. They spoke of deep regret and loss. I cried with you and we hugged each other tightly, with your head softly upon my breast. Continue reading

Family roots pulled up and separated

oak tree

My mother was the central root of my family “tree”. She kept a strong link between us all, and allowed the family “tree” to stand tall and secure in the ground. When she was alive we were all gathered together. We knew what was happening to each of us at almost all times. Every celebration was a large family affair and maintained traditional customs that dated back generations. We always felt a connection with our childhood home in the New Jersey woods. She was our childhood home, and when she lived, that “home” was a living thriving being. It was rare that any one of us (her children, spouse, parents, siblings, in-laws, cousins, friends) ever felt neglected or alone. There was a closeness and interconnection to each member root of the family and beyond because of our link to her. Continue reading

Dense darkness cut through by light

DSC_0149

“There is no darkness so dense, so menacing, or so difficult that it cannot be overcome by light.”  -Vern P. Stanfill

After reading the quote above, I thought how wonderful it would be to explore the topic using poetry, but unlike many very talented people here in blog land, I just don’t have the knack for that. So instead, I decided to just jot down some random thoughts in the form of reflections. Please know that I am a believer that light is everywhere, all of the time, and forever more. Even during the worst of times there is some light that exists. Even when we are gone, memories of us stay alive. Even if those that remembered us all die off, part of us is present influencing others or the world (or universe) in some way. Continue reading