I will love you forever, and you will never die

heart grass

It was September 2004 when my mental illness worsened more than ever before; due to several factors I won’t go into here. My husband was quite concerned and decided to take me to the mountains to recover. Prior to the trip, I found that my mother seemed quite unwell, always in her bed napping. My father and I discussed the matter, but he said her doctor just told her to get some rest and take some pills he prescribed for her. Continue reading

Sensory overload

curtains drawn

I am feeling far from sunny today. Grief fills my heart, mind and soul and everything around me looks grey and decaying. Even with my bedroom light turned on I feel overwhelmed. I shut my curtains for relief. It’s almost as if I have a migraine, but there is no headache, per se. No, my head doesn’t ache, but a great weight is bearing down on it, causing dullness in thinking, strain, and utter fatigue. Continue reading

Non-triggering posts too distant in my mind

Today I have really struggled to write a post based on the Daily Post word “distant“. Funny, because I actually wrote three related posts, but deemed none of them appropriate to publish until this one. I know that the topics I wrote about are too personal and triggering for me. They would not be appreciated by some of my closest followers. Other topics using “distant” are just, well, too far in my long-term memory to pull out, or I’m just not in the mood to think about them. The word “distant” used to mean something far more exciting and exotic than it does now in my middle-age in my current situation, especially today on a gloomy day when my mood is a little low. Continue reading

Jolts causing rapid emotional or psychological switches

lightening major

I think we’ve all experienced emotional jolts at times in our lives. Imagine one moment we feel happy and positive, and then during a conversation someone says something that brings on a sudden feeling of fear, self-consciousness, fury, or the like. Or imagine that you go to your living room and discover your beloved pet is seriously ill, and are later told that he/she needs to be put down.

funny joltPowerful emotional jolts can also work in the opposite ways, as well. Continue reading