Sometimes, now, I wonder if your love for me was a mirage or some kind of wishful thinking on my part. Or were the last several years truly a very slow cancerous death, or progressing dementia, and with it, the death of love and true concern for those who truly love you? Continue reading
I haven’t been able to write here much lately. Somehow I’ve just felt almost paralyzed in some ways. It’s been more difficult to do my chores and errands. Though I have been able to write short bits here and there, writing a more substantial piece has seemed impossible. I’m in the first paragraph of this post. I hope I manage to finish it. If you see it on my blog, I guess I succeeded. Continue reading
It was September 2004 when my mental illness worsened more than ever before; due to several factors I won’t go into here. My husband was quite concerned and decided to take me to the mountains to recover. Prior to the trip, I found that my mother seemed quite unwell, always in her bed napping. My father and I discussed the matter, but he said her doctor just told her to get some rest and take some pills he prescribed for her. Continue reading
I am feeling far from sunny today. Grief fills my heart, mind and soul and everything around me looks grey and decaying. Even with my bedroom light turned on I feel overwhelmed. I shut my curtains for relief. It’s almost as if I have a migraine, but there is no headache, per se. No, my head doesn’t ache, but a great weight is bearing down on it, causing dullness in thinking, strain, and utter fatigue. Continue reading
Just as a physical bruise is tender, I think we can be tender emotionally, too. Little things can figuratively “hit” us and leave a mental pain that lingers, and may or may not heal. Continue reading
Today I have really struggled to write a post based on the Daily Post word “distant“. Funny, because I actually wrote three related posts, but deemed none of them appropriate to publish until this one. I know that the topics I wrote about are too personal and triggering for me. They would not be appreciated by some of my closest followers. Other topics using “distant” are just, well, too far in my long-term memory to pull out, or I’m just not in the mood to think about them. The word “distant” used to mean something far more exciting and exotic than it does now in my middle-age in my current situation, especially today on a gloomy day when my mood is a little low. Continue reading
I think we’ve all experienced emotional jolts at times in our lives. Imagine one moment we feel happy and positive, and then during a conversation someone says something that brings on a sudden feeling of fear, self-consciousness, fury, or the like. Or imagine that you go to your living room and discover your beloved pet is seriously ill, and are later told that he/she needs to be put down.
Powerful emotional jolts can also work in the opposite ways, as well. Continue reading