Why Jails And Prisons Shouldn’t Be Mental Asylums

prison cells

A few years ago, my husband stumbled upon a book written by a journalist father of a young man with bipolar disorder. The young man (a good kid) committed a crime during the midst of a manic episode and was arrested for the crime. As some people with bipolar mania experience, the young man didn’t even remember committing the crime. Continue reading

Bipolar and Energy Levels

I’ve been struggling to write in my blog lately, and haven’t been able to read as many other bloggers’ posts as I’d like. I’m sorry! Initially, the struggle had to do with my inability to concentrate due to various levels of bipolar mania (high energy). Now I just plain don’t have sufficient energy. Continue reading

Pluck me from this horrid place

key in door

Pluck me from this horrid place that I have lived in for so long. No, not from my literal home with you, my love, but from the jail of its inner rooms.

You know the jail itself is solely in my brain. Outside with you are miles of beauty. And yet you only ever look through my jail window at me, saturated by grey and black. Though I do see a glimpse of the outside beauty past your face, it seems surreal and distant. Your face looks sad and frustrated. I kiss it through the jail window, but we both want more. Continue reading

Sensory overload

curtains drawn

I am feeling far from sunny today. Grief fills my heart, mind and soul and everything around me looks grey and decaying. Even with my bedroom light turned on I feel overwhelmed. I shut my curtains for relief. It’s almost as if I have a migraine, but there is no headache, per se. No, my head doesn’t ache, but a great weight is bearing down on it, causing dullness in thinking, strain, and utter fatigue. Continue reading

When I was on the bottle self-medicating

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I remember liking alcohol as far back as a kid, when I would steal sips of beer from my father’s bottle. My parents didn’t even mind if I had a taste of wine at dinner as a young teen. I know this is generally unaccepted in the United States, and yet not uncommon in some other countries around the world. My parents were pretty lax, so found no harm in letting me have a taste. Continue reading

Childhood interrupted (Part 2 of 2)

private school

Please read Childhood interrupted (Part 1) before reading this post.

I remember when I first met the replacement guidance counselor I liked him immediately. Unlike the former counselor who acted like a disciplinarian, this new gentleman had kind eyes, a soft voice, and unlike most male school officials, seemed to treat me like more than just a kid. He was genuinely concerned about what had happened to me. Continue reading

A tad too demonstrative and open at times

open zipped mouth

In many of the posts I write, I try to acknowledge that some characteristics of people with bipolar disorder (or other mental illnesses) are not totally absent in those without such diagnoses. For example, a symptom of bipolar hypomania or mania is rapid speech, but we all know that there are non-mentally ill people out there that speak very quickly and voluminously.  In this post I want to discuss my tendency to be a tad too demonstrative and open at times. I’d like to explore if that tendency is related to my bipolar disorder, or just me, and if just me, why I’m like this. Continue reading

Messages to help people survive suicidal thinking

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Mental Health Daily’s Mental Health Blog gathered 10 powerful quotes and sayings aimed at suicide prevention. Since we are nearing the end of Mental Health Awareness month (May), I thought I’d share these quotes and sayings with you. The above-mentioned blog post provides some helpful comments after each quote. Consider visiting it. I thought they were very helpful, and were a quick read. Continue reading