My déjà vu experiences and their possible origins

deja vu

When considering topics for today’s daily prompt word “identical”, what came to mind first were my experiences with déjà vu. I believe most people are familiar with the term déjà vu. If not, the relevant Merriam-Webster dictionary definition I’m writing about is “the illusion of remembering scenes and events when experienced for the first time.” Or to me, it is more like where you recognize that even minute movements (like turns of your head), exact sounds, and sometimes even feelings and/or smells altogether take you back to moments of an absolute identical experience. Have you ever experienced déjà vu? Continue reading

A recurring dream with a problem I’d like to resolve

dream paintingA while back, I wrote about The wonderful nighttime dreams I will never forget. I realized today that it’s been a long time since I’ve had the pleasure of those dreams. A couple that I mentioned in that post were recurring dreams, but one was just a very memorable one-off. It got me thinking about recurring dreams. I’m sure we’ve all had at least a few of them, with some only happening during certain years of our lives. Most of the ones I’ve had in my life have actually not been so “wonderful”, but rather frustrating, challenging, and/or stress-inducing. Continue reading

The Secret World of Lost Socks

sock with hole in toeWhy does my “official” sock drawer have fewer socks than my “lost sock drawer”? Please someone, tell me why so many socks form pairs no more. Do you, too, have dozens of forlorn socks waiting for their mates? Is there a world out there, like the Island of Misfits, where lost socks wait?

Sometimes when I’m delinquent doing laundry, I find myself with no sock choices. I’ve been known to open the “lost sock drawer” in hopes I’ll hear the voices of some pairs of choices. After all, when I put my clean laundry away there’s always going to be at least one or two stray. With luck, there are some reunited pairs in there. A match of socks sure would be fair! Continue reading

My Experience Having Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT)

 

This morning I was visiting an online bipolar support group and saw a member asking people about their experience(s) with electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), more casually called “shock treatments”. That reminded me of my past research, before having ECT, when I found plenty of positive stories, as well as what I believe to be exaggerated horror stories. I’ll tell you now, that ECT is no longer what people saw in the movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and hasn’t been since well before the movie was made in 1975. Nevertheless, it is still a serious treatment for some types of mental disorders, which should be done only after careful consideration. Continue reading

“So what is the report?”

optimismHello Friends,

You’ve probably noticed that I have been absent for a few days, and some days before that. Let me assure you that it’s not because I’m doing poorly. Just the opposite. I’ve been doing quite well, and am even getting into the holiday spirit, the true spirit of what Christmas and New Years represent. Continue reading

Two different kinds of prejudice and my inability to speak up one time

mental illness stigmaToday I read a story written by a compassionate and courageous woman on a bipolar support forum. I really admired how she, a non-psych nurse, treated a manic teen in a general hospital. The manic teen’s behavior to an outsider would have seemed shocking, but she knew that it was not his fault, but that he was ill and needed help and understanding. After encountering ignorance and prejudice against the mentally ill boy by other staff, she spoke up to defend him and challenge stigma. That reminded me of an occasion when I, on tenterhooks, didn’t speak up about two kinds of prejudice.   Continue reading

Another type of bravery worthy of recognition (surviving hardships)

Bravery

When I was a young girl, and then a young woman, nothing could stop me. I felt there was nothing to fear. As a child, I rode my bike alone throughout the town. As a young woman, I traveled alone in countries across the globe. I knew that things would always work out fine, even if I ran into trouble. 

Was it just the way I was raised that made me, a female, so confident and unintimidated? Or did a bit of my bipolar disorder contribute to that, too? After all, bipolar mania can make you feel on top of the world, indestructible, and all powerful. It can also make you more apt to taking risks because of an impulsivity that a stable mind would resist because of common sense, or general caution.  Continue reading

Dancing in the skies to dancing on the keyboard

dancing on keyboard

I have written over 200 blog posts since the end of February 2017. Of those blog posts, 20 (10%) include a reference to my love and history of dancing. This love seemed to be born in me, and nurtured throughout my youth. Even as I get older, if I’m not dancing on the floor to music, my mind is dancing to the music I create with words. That dance performance can be spied through the brisk movements of my hands as they quickly move upon my keyboard.   Continue reading

A Story of Musical Hallucinations (When music mostly died for me)

Music notes birdI don’t know how long it’s been exactly, but I’d say at least four years.  It was back then that for me the music stopped sounding good, or at least it stopped invigorating my soul. How to really explain it, I do not know.

I was a dancer from the first days that I remember. Music was central in my life. Jazz played in my grandparents’ music room. Classical music in the dance studio. I liked Rock and Roll the whole time, too. Really any music satisfied me, and I could dance to almost anything, even the buzzing of the street lamp, or the sound of a rope slapping the flag pole in the wind. Continue reading

Why Jails And Prisons Shouldn’t Be Mental Asylums

prison cells

A few years ago, my husband stumbled upon a book written by a journalist father of a young man with bipolar disorder. The young man (a good kid) committed a crime during the midst of a manic episode and was arrested for the crime. As some people with bipolar mania experience, the young man didn’t even remember committing the crime. Continue reading