Stream of consciousness – From the present working backwards

stream of consciousness

I’ve been in one of those strange states where at times I feel and seem extremely normal and even pretty well, and yet in ways I’m really struggling. My eating has been just terrible. Really terrible! And I’m even hiding a lot of it from my husband. Almost like when an alcohol abuser hides their bottles.

Morning and early afternoons seem to be OK, but come around 3 pm and I feel like I’m slipping. I’ll admit that I just got my monthly. Perhaps that is playing into this. My motivation is almost nil right now. I have no idea what to make for dinner, and wish I didn’t even have to make it. I wish some vegetable heavy meal would just show up on my table at 7 pm when my husband gets home, and call me to the table, too. Continue reading

Bipolar Disorder and Difficulties Multitasking

Multitasking woman

I’ve been mostly absent from WordPress for quite a while now, except the occasional post, mostly diet-related. I’ve been under a great deal of stress, and have been having trouble expressing myself in certain ways. It’s also been difficult for me to do certain basic activities of daily living, and more difficult to do even more complex chores and tasks, that many people do easily. Multitasking? Overwhelming! Stuff is falling through the cracks, overlooked, and clumsily handled, if handled. Continue reading

When people with bipolar disorder disappear or “fall off the map”

hide in the cornerI’m not sure if I can do justice to this topic right now, but I’m posting about it anyway to explain why I haven’t been around much.

Starting around April of this year, my blog posting slowed up significantly. I confess that my habit of reading other peoples’ blog posts slowed up even more. I don’t even remember where my head was then. Continue reading

Weeks 5 & 6 – Friday Fitness and Weight Loss Updates

vacation word

I’m back! I just returned from a 2-week vacation in Portugal. That is the reason for my delayed (and Monday) posting of my weeks 5 & 6 Friday Fitness and Weight Loss updates. Before I left, I decided that I would not track my eating during my time abroad. It just seemed too difficult given many factors. I did, however, hope to remain mindful of my eating (and drinking) while abroad and to journal about it while away. I didn’t expect to lose any weight during that time, but of course I hoped to perhaps maintain, or at least not gain back too much. Well, below you can read what happened in the end.  Continue reading

My déjà vu experiences and their possible origins

deja vu

When considering topics for today’s daily prompt word “identical”, what came to mind first were my experiences with déjà vu. I believe most people are familiar with the term déjà vu. If not, the relevant Merriam-Webster dictionary definition I’m writing about is “the illusion of remembering scenes and events when experienced for the first time.” Or to me, it is more like where you recognize that even minute movements (like turns of your head), exact sounds, and sometimes even feelings and/or smells altogether take you back to moments of an absolute identical experience. Have you ever experienced déjà vu? Continue reading

A recurring dream with a problem I’d like to resolve

dream paintingA while back, I wrote about The wonderful nighttime dreams I will never forget. I realized today that it’s been a long time since I’ve had the pleasure of those dreams. A couple that I mentioned in that post were recurring dreams, but one was just a very memorable one-off. It got me thinking about recurring dreams. I’m sure we’ve all had at least a few of them, with some only happening during certain years of our lives. Most of the ones I’ve had in my life have actually not been so “wonderful”, but rather frustrating, challenging, and/or stress-inducing. Continue reading

The Secret World of Lost Socks

sock with hole in toeWhy does my “official” sock drawer have fewer socks than my “lost sock drawer”? Please someone, tell me why so many socks form pairs no more. Do you, too, have dozens of forlorn socks waiting for their mates? Is there a world out there, like the Island of Misfits, where lost socks wait?

Sometimes when I’m delinquent doing laundry, I find myself with no sock choices. I’ve been known to open the “lost sock drawer” in hopes I’ll hear the voices of some pairs of choices. After all, when I put my clean laundry away there’s always going to be at least one or two stray. With luck, there are some reunited pairs in there. A match of socks sure would be fair! Continue reading

My Experience Having Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT)

 

This morning I was visiting an online bipolar support group and saw a member asking people about their experience(s) with electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), more casually called “shock treatments”. That reminded me of my past research, before having ECT, when I found plenty of positive stories, as well as what I believe to be exaggerated horror stories. I’ll tell you now, that ECT is no longer what people saw in the movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and hasn’t been since well before the movie was made in 1975. Nevertheless, it is still a serious treatment for some types of mental disorders, which should be done only after careful consideration. Continue reading

“So what is the report?”

optimismHello Friends,

You’ve probably noticed that I have been absent for a few days, and some days before that. Let me assure you that it’s not because I’m doing poorly. Just the opposite. I’ve been doing quite well, and am even getting into the holiday spirit, the true spirit of what Christmas and New Years represent. Continue reading