musical hallucinations

A Story of Musical Hallucinations (When music mostly died for me)

updownflight12 Comments

Music notes birdI don’t know how long it’s been exactly, but I’d say at least four years.  It was back then that for me the music stopped sounding good, or at least it stopped invigorating my soul. How to really explain it, I do not know.

I was a dancer from the first days that I remember. Music was central in my life. Live jazz played in my grandparents’ music room. Classical music in the dance studio. I liked Rock and Roll the whole time, too. Really any music satisfied me, and I could dance to almost anything, even the buzzing of the street lamp, or the sound of a rope slapping the flag pole in the wind. Continue reading →

MC, Day 3: Surprise song playing in my head

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Joshua tree night sky

At 15 years old, I experienced the first major mental breakdown of my life. I won’t go into it in detail here, but I will say that it was bad enough that my public school recommended that my parents switch me to a nearby alternative private school. I had gone through the gamut in terms of major mood fluctuation, a somewhat traumatic event. I was pressured to quit ballet after years of serious study. The love of my teenage life! Now without the rigors and routine of ballet classes I felt that I lost my identity and lost my way. Continue reading →