My husband and I met each other when working for the same company in the U.S. It was an instant attraction. It wasn’t long before I officially moved in with him. After about two years together, our love grew very strong. The day then arrived when we decided to get married, which was soon followed by a request for my hand in marriage from my parents. What a sweet old-fashioned gentleman! The whole period was quite romantic. I’d share more details of that romance, but hubby told me that some details he’d like to keep just between the two of us. I must respect that. Instead, in this post I will concentrate on just the preparations and events surrounding a marriage abroad. From this point until after the wedding, hubby will be referred to as “fiancé”. Continue reading
Sometimes mania, in the mental illness known as bipolar disorder, is romanticized because of some manic sufferers’ tendency to experience mental elation. Continue reading
Not all favorite stories have to be from significant events, like a marriage or a first love. Sometimes there are little past stories you tell again and again that may seem insignificant to some, but are highly memorable to you. Perhaps you start to tell the story for the tenth time and your spouse finishes the story, with a roll of the eyes, but gosh, you love telling that story! They’ll hear it again! Here is one such story about my love of tea. Continue reading
This is the first part of a two part series describing my first depression and mania of my life. It is a first draft for one of the chapters in my working memoir. For other stories in my memoir, please see my posts in my “Story series” category.
Today I decided to have some fun and walk down memory lane. I set out to search for traces of significant events of the past, and people that I knew and loved, but maybe no longer see. I limited them to a few findings so I could share some brief stories. Perhaps tomorrow and in the weeks to come I’ll discover traces of other things. Often I look past them without a notice. I’ll try to be more observant from now on. They surround me in my home all of the time, and still exist in many other places that I often visit. I’ll start with the oldest memories. Continue reading
Looking back at my childhood through my mid 20s, I suppose one could say that compared to other youth, I was mostly left adrift. I think my siblings were, as well. My parents were the opposite of “helicopter parents” in that they did not control our every move. In fact, they did not control much of what we did. They provided us with a nice home, and good food to eat. They took us on weekend and other excursions. They did teach us right from wrong, but beyond that we had a certain freedom that many other children our ages didn’t seem to have. Continue reading
Right now, I am resigned to the necessity of patience and carefully calculated approaches. Being middle-aged, I have learned from the impulsivity of my youth. It took me a very long time to get to this point of control, and ability to safely stay put. Today, I’m aware how important it is to keep my eyes widely opened to make sure I know what is ahead, aside and behind me. Continue reading
***Some content in this post may be disturbing or triggering. This post primarily focuses on a major depressive episode of Bipolar disorder type 1***
At the end of Part 3 of this post series, I had attended my eighth out of 10 hospitalizations for mania and/or mania with mixed features, and was again in an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP). The remaining major depressive episode eased briefly. I had improved sufficiently enough to return back to work part-time and resume care under my private psychiatrist, Dr. Ripley.
Only two months later, the depressive episode worsened to severe, but there were no hints of mania involved. Continue reading
***This post may be triggering. It details my personal experience with Bipolar type 1 full blown manias and mixed manias. Not all people with bipolar disorder behave as severely as I detail, or even severely at all. Experiences with bipolar disorder vary.***
At the end of Part 2 of this series, I mentioned that it was after my sixth Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) that I likely quit my medications cold turkey. Because of that, my transition from quasi “wellness” back to complete mood instability was quite rapid. The scariest part was that I had recently returned to work part-time. Continue reading