A bipolar disorder irritability story. Not even a severe one. Won’t even go there!

Anger sign

I thought I was doing fairly well today, mood-wise, until I went to the grocery store. Well, maybe I started to get unwell towards the end of my conversation with my sister. She didn’t say anything to trigger it. I totally brought it on myself. I was not angry at her at all, but more fuming about other people (politicians, certain organizations, etc.). Then I asked my brother to come over for dinner tomorrow, in exchange for some handyman advice. He accepted, so then I realized I needed some groceries in order to make him a nice meal. So I set out for the grocery store. Then the “irritability” started to balloon. Continue reading

So extremely bad…that it’s amazing!!!

Angry chicken

So my husband and I went to Lowe’s today to look for a new faucet to go with the new counter top we’ll have installed next week. I knew we’d end up leaving there with more than we could carry. I know my people! So, I volunteered to get a cart, leaving hubby to enter the store on his own. When I returned to him, I saw him standing with a young female clerk, both laughing hysterically. I said “What on earth did you say to this young lady?!?!” Continue reading

Bipolar Disorder and Difficulties Multitasking

Multitasking woman

I’ve been mostly absent from WordPress for quite a while now, except the occasional post, mostly diet-related. I’ve been under a great deal of stress, and have been having trouble expressing myself in certain ways. It’s also been difficult for me to do certain basic activities of daily living, and more difficult to do even more complex chores and tasks, that many people do easily. Multitasking? Overwhelming! Stuff is falling through the cracks, overlooked, and clumsily handled, if handled. Continue reading

Week 17 – Friday Fitness & Weight Loss Update

Back on trackI neglected to weigh myself on my official weigh in day (Friday), and didn’t write my weekly Friday Fitness & Weight Loss update on my blog that day either, as you can see. I did weigh myself today (Monday) and I’m up 0.8 lbs after last week’s mega gain. I’m sad to say that I’ve regained over half of what I lost during this journey, even since early May. Back then I thought by now I would have reached a normal Body Mass Index (BMI). It has not happened. I guess I could punish myself mentally and feel like I’ve failed, but I’m not going to. I keep writing these updates, and I am still a lower weight than when I started. I guess even if I gained all of the weight back (and more), I could at least say that I’ve learned from this experience. Continue reading

Week 16 – Friday Fitness and Weight Loss Update

Stress photo

Main Topic: Extreme stress and binge eating (self-medication)

I have been under a great deal of stress lately because of many things. I won’t list them here, but I’d say they number at least five. Unfortunately, I am not always good at handling stress, despite years of learning and practicing coping skills in therapy.

“Self-medicating” stress can take on many forms. For some people it’s Continue reading

Week 4 – Friday Fitness and Weight Loss Update

I’ve just reached the end of my first full 4 weeks on my fitness and weight loss journey! I’m proud to still be writing these updates, and it’s my intention to continue to do so, no matter what my weekly results. Those following these e-mails have seen me consistently lose weight since I started this. Well, this week (or at least half of it), I encountered some challenges that I didn’t have (or barely had) in weeks 1-3. Below find this week’s results, as well as some reflections that I’m sure many of you can relate to. Continue reading

Throwing all of the dishes into the trash

Dishes in the sink
Not a photo of my kitchen, but I do have dishes in my sink.

My post title today is nothing I literally did, but it is a figurative representation of something I have done today literally, and might do with other things, as well. Have you ever just wished that stuff you needed to do was just “Poof!” done or gone?  Or that a specific time just passed without having to live it? That’s kind of how I’m feeling today. Continue reading

Happiness is the cheapest face lift

Happy woman2

I was only in my mid 20s when I noticed a faint vertical wrinkle between my eyebrows. I don’t think it was noticeable to others, though. And sometimes the wrinkle would almost disappear in my eyes, too. Really, it depended a lot on the mood I was in. You see, when I was depressed, stressed, and/or frustrated and angry I’d often squint. As I’d squint, my eyebrows grew closer and the wrinkle deepened. When I was happy and bright, my eyebrows lifted and grew further apart, pulling the skin almost ironing out the line. Mood alone did the trick. Continue reading

Hyperfocusing vs. multitasking

 

I have read that some people with ADHD/ADD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) have a tendency to hyperfocus on one task, subject, or topic, while others have difficulty focusing on any one thing at all. I don’t have ADHD or ADD, but people close to me have drawn attention to my trait of hyperfocusing since I was a little child. Continue reading

My very first love (Part 3 of 3)

Golden gate bridge

Continuation from My very first love (Part 2)

Following my first love, Mihai, across the country was an exciting prospect. I was just so happy that he loved me enough to want me to join him, and not leave me in New Jersey.  I was only about 22 years old at the time. I had never lived with a man before. I guess deep down I thought this was a first step to an eventual marriage. Continue reading