I will be away from my blog for a week or so

Just a note to my regular followers:

I will be away from my blog for at least a week. I need to take a vacation, and have actually not been very well lately. My bipolar depression has shown its face again, and I’m working with my mental health team to get back on track. We have Thanksgiving coming up in the U.S. so I’m happy that my husband will be with me for several days. Continue reading

Bipolar (or major depressive) episode denial – Wanting to be stable

moodchart example

The topic of this post is not denial of a bipolar or major depressive disorder diagnosis, though that is extremely common, it is rather when you accept your diagnosis, but don’t want to accept that you’re in an episode.   Continue reading

Using my blog as a place to work on my memoir

writing keeps me sane

About four years ago, I decided that an online class of some sort would be good for me. I haven’t been able to work for a long time because of my mental illness, and other than chores and errands, which I sometimes struggle(d) with, I’ve only been able to do limited things on the computer. The first online class I took was one on memoir writing. I was happy that added something new and enriching in my life. It also made me toy with the idea of writing a memoir of my own. I am a neophyte when it comes to such ambitious writing projects, but not so new to writing short stories. Continue reading

Birds of paradise and a bee

DSC_0110.NEF

I see two birds of paradise in this shot. One drinking the nectar of another. The drink will conclude in a mere second to two, with the hummingbird remembering exactly where he drank previously.

Do you see that bee (or other flying bug) hovering just behind the hummingbird’s upper tail? It won’t be in that position too long. It will likely be blown away by the fan of the hummingbird’s ultra-fast flapping wings. This whole scene is so temporary that it could not be captured  by a person’s eye alone.

Photograph taken in Costa Rica by my husband

Dancing in the skies to dancing on the keyboard

dancing on keyboard

I have written almost 200 blog posts since the end of February 2017. Of those blog posts, 20 (10%) include a reference to my love and history of dancing. This love seemed to be born in me, and nurtured throughout my youth. Even as I get older, if I’m not dancing on the floor to music, my mind is dancing to the music I create with words. That dance performance can be spied through the brisk movements of my hands as they quickly move upon my keyboard.   Continue reading

Illusions vs. Hallucinations – Does Truth Always Matter?

 

Have you ever been so tired, feverish, or just perplexed, you couldn’t with certainty tell whether the postman at the door was real? Or, have you been extremely concerned when your wife declared that even though David Bowie is dead, she was singing the Marseillaise with him in the kitchen last night? Is there a scientific explanation for these moments? Am I just going bonkers? Is my wife ill in some way? Was it an illusion or hallucination, or in fact, reality? Continue reading

The old witch with an autoharp

autoharp
An autoharp

In the 1970s, I was just a small girl going to elementary school in eastern Pennsylvania. Each class level had about two teachers, with the students divided between the two. Other than “library time” when we all got in a line and made the procession to the library (to see the librarian), all classes were held in the same classroom. A separate art teacher came to our class with a cart full of art supplies, and the designated music teacher came with numerous instruments, like tambourines, triangles, egg shakers, recorders and kazoos. You can imagine the “music” we created with that lot of instruments, but it was so fun! I remember the music teacher even having us dance around the room as if following the Pied Piper. Continue reading

Binge eating and other overeating – What do you believe causes yours?

I think it was about two and a half months ago that I joined Weight Watchers for perhaps the fifth time ever. Unfortunately, after about two weeks, I was no longer going again. My husband encouraged me to cancel the membership, so we wouldn’t spend more money needlessly, like I had done several times in the past with the gym. So I did, and went back to overeating and eating the wrong things. It was as if this feeling of failure just made me resigned to the fact that dieting efforts were too tough. Continue reading

I just want to go home, but I’m already home

home seclusion

I remember being at work, or somewhere else, and thinking over and over again that “I just want to go home.” The hours seemed like days. I’d watch the clock, and it would seem to have stopped. Two minutes before I was officially to be set free, I’d run around the corner and make an escape. I knew that those last two minutes would just kill me, so I had to make the run for it while I could still breathe.  Continue reading

A passenger with no need to navigate

sleeping in car

My husband and I have a GPS navigation system in our car for long trips. Hubby is almost always the driver. Despite our Tom Tom’s verbal instructions, my hubby still likes me to be the Tom Tom lady’s “second voice”. That certainly ensures getting to our destinations without problems, and yet it takes away some of my freedom to just be a passenger, who can stare out the window and daydream.  Continue reading