Lost years in my life? Not nearly as many as I originally thought!

Yesterday I received an e-mail notice of a blog post on Bp Magazine’s website www.bphope.com. It was called Learning From My Lost Years by Dave Mowry. In that blog post, Dave Mowry reflected on years he considered “lost” from his life, as a result of his bipolar disorder. He wrote that a lot more years were “lost” than actually good, and that though he appreciates the good ones, they just don’t make up for the bad (or “lost”) ones. He ended his post positive about the present, but I felt bad for him and then I started thinking about my life with bipolar disorder. In the past, I have also labeled many of the years in my life as “lost”, with great sadness. I suppose I still do to some degree, but at this moment I realized that maybe not so very many were really “lost” after all. Dave Mowry only emphasized high value for the good years, but perhaps there is value to the bad ones, as well. Continue reading

Quasi-superstitious acts and thoughts

I am not a particularly religious person, though I guess I’d call myself an agnostic rather than an atheist. I mean, how can I really know what is awaiting me after my death? Having “faith” in a story is a bit hard for me sometimes, especially in cases where the story seems unlikely in many respects, and not definitively proven. I guess I have a more scientific way of looking at things, since science research often proves theories in ways that seem indisputable, or at least very logical in my point of view. But again, strange things happen sometimes that amaze, and ideas like the universe’s creation (or really many things) seem so beyond what my human brain can imagine. Continue reading

My déjà vu experiences and their possible origins

deja vu

When considering topics for today’s daily prompt word “identical”, what came to mind first were my experiences with déjà vu. I believe most people are familiar with the term déjà vu. If not, the relevant Merriam-Webster dictionary definition I’m writing about is “the illusion of remembering scenes and events when experienced for the first time.” Or to me, it is more like where you recognize that even minute movements (like turns of your head), exact sounds, and sometimes even feelings and/or smells altogether take you back to moments of an absolute identical experience. Have you ever experienced déjà vu? Continue reading

My story of being disciplined at school

punishment word

Yesterday I was going through the cashier line at the grocery store. On that day there were Girl Scouts packing customer groceries in hopes for contributions for a cause.  My local grocery usually expects customers to pack their own groceries, so in appreciation I gave her a few bucks. Out of nowhere, a memory shot into my head, so I said to her with a laugh “I used to be in the Girl Scouts as a kid, but told my mom I wanted to quit because the leader always made me stand in the corner. I told her that I stand in the corner enough at school. I didn’t need that punishment at Girl Scouts, too.” Continue reading

Happiness is the cheapest face lift

Happy woman2

I was only in my mid 20s when I noticed a faint vertical wrinkle between my eyebrows. I don’t think it was noticeable to others, though. And sometimes the wrinkle would almost disappear in my eyes, too. Really, it depended a lot on the mood I was in. You see, when I was depressed, stressed, and/or frustrated and angry I’d often squint. As I’d squint, my eyebrows grew closer and the wrinkle deepened. When I was happy and bright, my eyebrows lifted and grew further apart, pulling the skin almost ironing out the line. Mood alone did the trick. Continue reading

Distractability and spaciness of a person with bipolar disorder

Crocus in snow
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been very slowly coming out of a depression. This past weekend I felt fairly good, though. I had energy, motivation, and was enjoying activities both with my husband, and alone. And yet on Saturday, my husband said something that initially irritated me, but now kind of worries me. We were at the dining room table and I was playing a beautiful piece of music by Leos Janacek. I had lit a candle and a lovely dinner was on the table. Hubby said something to me, but I was concentrating on the beauty of the music and general situation. It felt wonderful! I heard him, but wasn’t really paying full attention to him.

Continue reading

Is that bird glad to be inside on this snowy day!?!?

That’s the question. Who knows what is going on inside that avian head. Luckily both he and the outside birds at that feeder have food, though the birds at the feeder need to dig through the snow a bit to get to it. Continue reading

Satisfied not always being “typical”


When writing this post, I decided to put “typical” in quotes. Really, I think every person in this world is unique in several ways, but it is the case that large groups of people do share things in common, making them sort of “typical”. Of course I, too, share many things in common with the majority, but I thought I’d make a bit of a list of how I feel I’m different than most. Continue reading

Maintenance, loss, and development of creative talents over the years


Those who’ve followed my blog have surely noticed that my posts take on many forms. I write a lot of articles (especially mental health-related), reflections (on many topics), and sometimes prose stories. I also occasionally write my own brand of poetic stories, but only when I’m in a special mood. Most of my written stories are usually based on real people and events, though I’ll admit plenty of fiction has been created in my head over the years in the form of day dreams. My varying writing styles and content do change a bit over time, just as my overall creativity and expression modes, as well. Continue reading

The Obsessive Overuse of Garlic in Modern Day American Cooking?

garlic heads

When I was a little girl, my mother noticed I was getting rashes on my arm and behind my knee. She took me to my pediatrician who recommended I go to an allergist. I went, and the results of the allergy testing were pretty sad for me. He said “No peanuts, no chocolate, and no oranges or orange juice.”  So every Easter, I’d get the white-colored bunny rabbit and various jelly beans in my basket. Yuck! My siblings had the delicious-looking chocolate ones, plus Reese’s peanut butter eggs, and other chocolate goodies. Imagine the envious look on my little face?

I wasn’t the only one in my family that seemed to have an allergy. It was discovered early on that when we ate something containing garlic, my brother became nauseous and red in the face, and would even throw up. Continue reading