Exploration and finding “it”

RainbowIn my blog, I have written a lot about myself as a child and as young woman. I told stories about my almost continuous daydreaming. I detailed my many trips around my town by bike, trips with my parents from sea to sea, and my own exploration of over 20 countries around the world on my own, and with my love. I have always been very thirsty for knowledge about the world around me close and far, including its people, cultures, beauties, and even uglier aspects. My daydreams have taken it further and placed me in shoes I never really wore, giving me alternative and often idealized perspectives. Continue reading

Bird boy’s 1st birthday (aka hatch day)

Bird birthday

My dear Hahn’s macaw is officially one year old today (March 27, 2018)! It’s hard to imagine that exactly one year ago he was struggling to make his way out of his egg shell. I’m afraid that I was not there to witness his hatching. He became part of our family six months later, when he was already looking like a big boy. Continue reading

The first signs of spring for me – from mood elevation to grackles

Woman sun spring

Last Tuesday, March 20, 2018 marked the official start of spring. By that day, I had already noticed the clear signs of resolution of a recent four week depression. Just prior to that, I had been telling everyone that a mood upswing was due to arrive. After all, spring mood upswings predictably started almost every year at this time. They sometimes started as early as the end of February, or at least sometime in March. This pattern finally arrived, as predicted. Thank goodness! Continue reading

One year of blogging – lots of writing and exploration!

Happy first birthday

At the end of February 2018, I received a one year anniversary badge from WordPress. I guess it seems a bit late to celebrate, but unfortunately I was not feeling well when the notice arrived. I hope you won’t mind that I recognize the occasion today, belatedly. Continue reading

Lost years in my life? Not nearly as many as I originally thought!

 

Yesterday I received an e-mail notice of a blog post on Bp Magazine’s website www.bphope.com. It was called Learning From My Lost Years by Dave Mowry. In that blog post, Dave Mowry reflected on years he considered “lost” from his life, as a result of his bipolar disorder. He wrote that a lot more years were “lost” than actually good, and that though he appreciates the good ones, they just don’t make up for the bad (or “lost”) ones. He ended his post positive about the present, but I felt bad for him and then I started thinking about my life with bipolar disorder. In the past, I have also labeled many of the years in my life as “lost”, with great sadness. I suppose I still do to some degree, but at this moment I realized that maybe not so very many were really “lost” after all. Dave Mowry only emphasized high value for the good years, but perhaps there is value to the bad ones, as well. Continue reading

Quasi-superstitious acts and thoughts

I am not a particularly religious person, though I guess I’d call myself an agnostic rather than an atheist. I mean, how can I really know what is awaiting me after my death? Having “faith” in a story is a bit hard for me sometimes, especially in cases where the story seems unlikely in many respects, and not definitively proven. I guess I have a more scientific way of looking at things, since science research often proves theories in ways that seem indisputable, or at least very logical in my point of view. But again, strange things happen sometimes that amaze, and ideas like the universe’s creation (or really many things) seem so beyond what my human brain can imagine. Continue reading

My déjà vu experiences and their possible origins

deja vu

When considering topics for today’s daily prompt word “identical”, what came to mind first were my experiences with déjà vu. I believe most people are familiar with the term déjà vu. If not, the relevant Merriam-Webster dictionary definition I’m writing about is “the illusion of remembering scenes and events when experienced for the first time.” Or to me, it is more like where you recognize that even minute movements (like turns of your head), exact sounds, and sometimes even feelings and/or smells altogether take you back to moments of an absolute identical experience. Have you ever experienced déjà vu? Continue reading

My story of being disciplined at school

punishment word

Yesterday I was going through the cashier line at the grocery store. On that day there were Girl Scouts packing customer groceries in hopes for contributions for a cause.  My local grocery usually expects customers to pack their own groceries, so in appreciation I gave her a few bucks. Out of nowhere, a memory shot into my head, so I said to her with a laugh “I used to be in the Girl Scouts as a kid, but told my mom I wanted to quit because the leader always made me stand in the corner. I told her that I stand in the corner enough at school. I didn’t need that punishment at Girl Scouts, too.” Continue reading

Happiness is the cheapest face lift

Happy woman2

I was only in my mid 20s when I noticed a faint vertical wrinkle between my eyebrows. I don’t think it was noticeable to others, though. And sometimes the wrinkle would almost disappear in my eyes, too. Really, it depended a lot on the mood I was in. You see, when I was depressed, stressed, and/or frustrated and angry I’d often squint. As I’d squint, my eyebrows grew closer and the wrinkle deepened. When I was happy and bright, my eyebrows lifted and grew further apart, pulling the skin almost ironing out the line. Mood alone did the trick. Continue reading